Tag Archives: black sabbath

How To Cope With The Brits If You Have Any Taste In Music Whatsoever

This’ll be quick. The Brits are shit. I don’t need to go into this. It was true last year where it seemed the only purpose of its existence was to attempt to ‘break’ America. Don’t believe me? Rewatch it. Look how many times they mentioned getting artists like Tinie Tempah and Adele to play and sell in USA. It wasn’t, isn’t and will never be a celebration of British music. It was, is and will be a cynical marketing tool to get more money for lowest common denomenator music while artificially manufacturing the latest mega-sellers. By this I am referring to the ‘Critic’s Choice Award’. Which can just fuck right off.

Anyway, here’s how to stay sane on the night that anyone with any taste will feel like Britain, the home of the greatest musicians of all time (The Beatles, The Stones, Led Zep, Black Sabbath, David Bowie, The Sex Pistols, The Smiths… the list goes on) has forfieted all right toits musical heritage.

1 – The Shit Choice / James Corden Drinking Game

This is a very simple competition. Every time their is a stupid result – like Bruno Mars winning anything – Drink an entire bottle of vodka. Without stopping. You’ll never worry about their choices again.

The slight variant is just to drink a pint every time you see James Corden, just at all – if he’s in the background, if he’s presenting. For bonus shots drink everytime he does that massive laugh OR acts really serious. This means you spend all your time looking for him on the screen and can forget about the nightmare in front of you.

2 – Your choices through the ages.

This is more serious, but better with other music fans. Every category (e.g. best british group) you have to decide on a winner for all of time (answer: The Beatles). If played properly, serious arguments will ensue as to whether or not you can put Morrissey in best british male or whether ot not there were any good british female musicians ever. (answer – PJ Harvey, biatch).

3 – The Alternative Category Game

Wait till you know the nominees/winner, then together with some mates, discuss the probable category that they just won. E.g. Ed Sheeran  ‘artist most likely to be someone your friend went to school’ with or ‘most popular ginger’.

4 – Listen to something decent.

Seriously the best option, you can just forget this ridiculous charade exists and play some awesome music by the many good artists Britain has produced. Here is an array of videos that might just restore your faith in England.

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Why 2012 will be an amazing year for music

The Rainmaker explains why 2012 is going to be an incredible year for music.

After the look back at the best albums from 2011 I’m gonna look a forward. In a year with no glastonbury and the potential end of the world, it might seem strange to say that 2012 is going to be amazing. But it will be. And here’s why.

Pulp led the way for band reunions1. So many great bands are reuniting

There has been an explosion of awesome bands announcing that they are now reforming. it started innocently, with Pulp reuniting and playing a spot at Glastonbury and then headlining Reading/Leeds festival. They were incredible and blew many minds (including my own) and clearly some other bands were paying very close attention. Specifically, The Stone Roses. The seminal northern band announced a number of dates for 2012 and many middle-aged ex-madchester dads went nuts for tickets. Another legendary northern band joined the others when New Order announced they would reform to play some gigs but without iconic bassist Peter Hook who is now left to grumpily declare it “like Queen without Freddie Mercury”.

What’s that world? You want some bands a bit bigger? You want some bands that have completely changed the music world? Oh yeh, those happened to, ladies and gentlemen Black Sabbath and the Beach Boys are both reuniting to play some gigs in 2012. I don’t think I need to push how significant both bands have been in shaping the musical world, and while my co-author may not approve of the former, he is definitely whitening his underwear following the Beach Boys news.

And then we come to my personal favourite re-unification of the last months. The Afghan Whigs have announced that they will reform to play a festival next year. For those who don’t know, they were one of the most underrated bands of the Grunge era, combining a sleazy hard rock sound with some killer grungey tunes. Allow youtube and an impossibly young Jon Stewart to demonstrate…

So all these amazing bands will be touring and making amazing music, and just generally reminding everyone of just how awesome music can be when it’s made by the right people. And speaking of touring…

THIS JUST IN – Literally as I type this I’ve just heard that BLUR ARE REUNITING to play at the Brit awards. Now I don’t know the length of this reunion but considering that Damon just terminated Gorillaz I think it’s fair to start giggling with joy and rocking out to Song 2 again.

Oh and I forgot The Shins. They rock.

2. Living legends will be touring

...Lotus Flower...

Enough about all those silly reunions you say? Well how about a tour from ‘probably-the-best-band-currently-making-music’ Radiohead. That’s right the age defining icons will be starting a tour of arenas in 2012, giving people the chance they finally need to see one of the greatest bands of all-time play somewhere actually near them and not just a surprise one at glasto.

Add that to the fact that half of grunges ‘Big 4’ and my two favourite Grunge bands (Nirvana not included due to reasons relating to death) Pearl Jam and Soundgarden are going to be touring next year. These bands are amazing, and combined with the Afghan Whigs and the general existence of Alice In Chains, have the chance to make 2012 the year Grunge’s dead corpse became reanimated and began wandering the earth, screaming things about ‘my libido’ and ‘jalapenos’ at millions of disgruntled teenagers. Here is a newly released song by Soundgarden for those who haven’t witnessed the awesome.

Oh yeah and barely-living legends Tom Petty and Bruce Springsteen will be making their way to the Isle of Wight in the summer. If you’re wondering why there arent more newer bands in this section it’s because, frankly, they are always touring. But it is fair to expect gigs from The Vaccines, Tune-Yards and all those new but still good bands you can hear on BBC 6music.

3. New Albums = New Awesome

Guess who’s in the studio? That’s right, Radiohead. I won’t dwell on the amazingness of that because I’ve already ranted enough but lets just say you can pretty much include all of the above artists that reunited because like Soundgarden and Pearl Jam, they’re working on some new stuff. To save time here is just a list of people who have delared that they will actually, no bullshit, release an album next year.

  • Paul McCartney
  • Beach Boys
  • Foo Fighters
  • Bruce Springsteen
  • The Shins
  • Rodrigo y Gabriela
  • Metallica
  • Muse
  • Lana Del Rey
  • Mark Lanegan
  • Dry the River

And finally how can I forget the winners of my best album of 2011 list, Tom Williams and the Boat are currently raising funds to release their second album via a fan payment site called PledgeMusic, which you can see here, and go and give them money so I can hear their new record sooner please!

I’m pretty sure that should be enough for you. As its only fair to leave with a song, here’s my favourite song by The Shins, as their record is the one I’m most looking forward to.

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